Sunday, October 3, 2010

Translation of State Department Advisory

The State Department has issued an advisory for Americans travelling in Europe, below is an uncensored translation that removes the political correctness and ass covering of the official advisory:

This summer we waterboarded an unshaved Muslim from Germany. In rather record time he warned us of possible attacks in Europe, we are not sure if he was telling us the truth or if he was making it all up so that he wouldn't be waterboarded anymore. Just to make sure, we waterboarded him once more, unfortunately we killed him on that go round.

Before his death, he did, however, provide us with the name of an al-Qaida member who knew the specifics of the plan. Unfortunately, in another stroke of bad luck, we killed that guy the week before in a drone attack.

So at this point, this is what we have: A terrorist attack may or may not occur, somewhere.

We will not be able to protect you beyond this information, so we suggest you act as though you were in other areas where we can not protect you, such as, downtown Detroit at night or the Tenderloin district of San Francisco at night.

In other words, if you are suurounded by terrorists shooting at you, duck and cover.

22 comments:

  1. Hey, its election season, give the fearmongers a break! They need to have SOMEONE more wretched than they are to point their fingers at.

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  2. Spectacular!!! This is a Wag the Dog if ever there was one.

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  3. Lies and more lies....what a fitting end for the Evil Empire....greed kills...hehe.

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  4. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic.

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  5. That's the language I love - THE TRUTH!

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  6. Or find an old school desk and get under it as they will protect you from an atom bomb even as my 3rd grade teacher taught me.

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  7. Good article, lost cause.
    Americans are afraid.
    Very afraid.
    Its nice to hear people such as Mr. Wenzel that see things clearly, relatively speaking.

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  8. perhaps you could add:

    add if nothing happens, we will consider causing some atrocity ourselves to increase and reinforce our power.

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  9. This not only applies to today. It applies to ALL the phoney fear mongering of the past 9 years. The problem is that most Americans can not believe the truth that rogue elements of the federal govt and Israel were behind the attacks of 911.

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  10. Actually, there are still quite number of Americans not scared of their own shadow. For us, our government is an embarrassment.

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  11. You can always tell when election season goes into full gear....fear always helps and "legitimizes" the parasites holding "office".

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  12. Wow what a bummer. I mean after 8 straight years of the travel threat level being "Orange" (translation- "naked pictures, stealing your weed from your suitcase, and body cavity searches for the elderly"), I thought for sure we were going to drop to "Blue" any day now. But nooooooooooo!

    Thanks for nothing terrorists. If they ever actually verify your existence, I may send you an angry letter.

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  13. Google "False Flag"
    One might happen soon.
    Example: The USS Liberty was planned by LBJ as a false flag operation to draw the USA into the Six Day War. The ship was meant for the bottom of the Mediterranean along with all hands so we could blame Egypt. The brave and resourceful crew spoiled that plan, leaving the lame "accident" story.

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  14. so there really was some thin, vague threat of some sort? this one seemed to me to be a game of dare or something between those smoke filled back room types. or some european ambassador made an american ambassador angry, and this is a friendly "screw you". either way, im sure "they" are in stitches laughing at the, admittedly, few who believe them. I mean come on, even the newscasters had a hard time not rolling their eyes.

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  15. and when nothing happens... they will take credit and praise the Constitution-dismantling, Guiness-record-setting longest acronym of a "Fcuk You" USA PATRIOT ACT. along with all their DNA teleomere-unravelling airport body scanners, car-intruding X-ray vans, and militarized police abuse.

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  16. These so called threats always occur around election season for some reason. I don't believe these puppets.

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  17. Add this paragraph at the end:

    "Oh, and now we come to think about it, we will remove uncertainty for you and stage the event ourselves. So rest assured that the 'terrorist' attacks will happen. As you already saw in the news, we've picked the targets already, and our people have been hard at work. We are not telling you though exactly which airports or train stations. That would spoil the fun, wouldn't it?"

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  18. What the world should fear is the collapse of the fiat dollar which has world reserve currency status, and petro-dollar monopoly.

    What they're looking for is another manufactured war to keep their military-industrial complex machine running. If there's no demand, they'll make one.

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  19. I'm sorry but you simply cannot put up a blog post that pokes fun at the intelligence apparatus of the US then advertise at the top of your page for the American Military University, which boasts of 76 online degree programs including INTELLIGENCE.

    I've had about all I can stand of half-assed "libertarians" that still make their money serving the establishment in some capacity or another or that saw the light only AFTER they spent a lifetime enriching themselves at the government trough. They come out when retired and bored of spending the money they robbed from the taxpayers and tell us all how HORRIBLE it was serving the state, and now that they're out of their government jobs we need to tear the whole thing down. And I'm sure they all refuse their pensions, right?

    They have a word for this. It's called "hypocrisy." Put your money where your mouth is.

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  20. Those are Google ads you see. They are aimed at the visitor. I have personally never seen such an ad on my site, which means it is there because of the sites you are visiting.

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  21. Maybe if we compare terrorist attacks(TA)to the chance of winning a redneck retirement account (for you non-like-me-rednecks, that's winning the lottery) or compare chance of TA with a lightning strike on a frigging sunny day to the chance of actually being a victim maybe then folks might not be so afraid....wait that would spoil all the fun of naked scans putting all our privacy on a hard-drive somewhere jackass protectors of ours
    oh well I tried

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  22. The powers that be are trying real hard to cover up the public unrest going on across Europe. I think that the last thing they want is more American tourists bringing home the news that Europe's angry tribes are revolting at the EU control over their countries spending policies. 10's of thousands marched by EU HQ in Brussels last week. The message sent was "This time we marched right by. Next time we are coming in!" This terrorist bahloney, just like every time they bring it up, is just to scare people, this time to scare away witnesses to the protests.

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