Five inert/novelty/replica grenades were discovered this week. Three were in carry-on bags at Las Vegas (LAS), Corpus Christi (CRP), and Montgomery (MGM). Two were discovered in checked baggage at Rochester (ROC), and San Jose (SJC).
A starter pistol was discovered in a carry-on bag at Buffalo (BUF).
Three cane swords were discovered this week. Two were discovered at Los Angeles (LAX), and the other at Long Beach (LGB).
Pepper spray designed to look like a lipstick case was discovered in Phoenix (PHX).
After alarming advanced imaging technology, a Houston (HOU) passenger stated: “I am packing a bomb.” She wasn’t.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
This Week in TSA Drama
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In other news, Five inert/novelty/replica grenades were discovered this week in carry on bags. North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un [Yes dammit, at one time he DID, actually, lead the Supremes - He called himself Diana Ross Un back then] has asked that the weaponized replicas be returned to him as they represent a sizable investment and fully 5/6ths of the country's armaments.
ReplyDeleteA starter pistol was discovered in a carry-on bag at Buffalo (BUF) along with three cane swords at (LAX) all were promptly confiscated by TSA agents. In a related story, Russia has just announced cancellation of the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics as they can't figure out how to get them started, and, the American Cane Sword team has canceled practices until further notice...
Pepper spray designed to look like a lipstick case was discovered in Phoenix (PHX) along with pepper that looked like a douche, an enema, a dildo, a lolly pop, a barbie doll, and a bullwhip. Henry Kissinger has asked that if nobody else wants them he will be glad to "dispose of the items".
After alarming advanced imaging technology, a Houston (HOU) passenger stated: “I am packing a bomb.” She wasn’t. It was a Bambi stuffed toy - she doesn't speak too clearly yet. 4 year old Mandy Zimmerman is spending a fun filled week at an undisclosed location learning the fine points of water boarding and electric shock therapy. Don't cry honey...
TSA - "Fucking with you 'cause we can't think of anything better to do, and WE CAN!"