The Stripper Enforcement Commission: I Am Beginning to See a Pattern...

...and it kind of explains why Bernie Madoff wasn't caught by the SEC. You see, Bernie wasn't sharing his ill gotten funds with a lap dancing stripper. If he had, the SEC would have nailed him about 49 billion dollars ago.

The SEC seems to be obsessed with "T & A". My case:

From the SEC Office of Inspector General

As a result of prior OIG investigations into several employees’ misuse of SEC resources and official time to view pornography, the OIG had recommended that the Office of the Executive Director (OED), in consultation with the Offices of General Counsel and Information Technology, update, consolidate and clarify the agency’s Internet usage policies...

From NYT

Executive's Affair With Stripper Leads to Insider Trading Charges

Last spring, in the midst of a boom year for companies going public, the respected investment bank Keefe, Bruyette & Woods abruptly scrubbed its plans for a stock offering -- and refused to say why.

Yesterday, the mystery was solved. Federal prosecutors in Manhattan charged the firm's former chairman, James J. McDermott Jr., with insider trading in a bizarre case in which he is accused of leaking information about potential billion-dollar bank deals to an X-rated movie actress he was dating...The prosecutors disclosed in the criminal complaint that Keefe, Bruyette had canceled its offering in May after Mr. McDermott disclosed to its directors that a friend of his -- he did not name Ms. Gannon at the time -- was under investigation by the S.E.C. for trading in stocks he had recommended to her.

From the Times Online

Investment bankers at two of Wall Street's leading firms have been arrested for allegedly participating in a $6.7 million international shares trading scam that involved stolen magazines, a stripper...Monika Vujovic, a stripper in New York, allowed Mr Pajcin to use an account in her name to make stock trades in return for about half the profits, authorities said.

"We've never seen before a case involving so many different attempts to obtain information illegally," said Mark Schonfeld, regional director of the Securities and Exchange Commission

From EPJ:

Former Playboy Playmate Busted

Bouchareb also provided the information to his girlfriend, [Playboy playmate]Maria Checa, who currently resides in Greensboro, N.C. Checa traded in her accounts, Checa International, Inc. and Playmate Capital LLC.

The message is clear. If you are going to run a Ponzi scheme, or trade on inside information, keep the ladies from Scores out of it.