Saturday, February 19, 2011

Ten Things Ben Bernanke Does to Cheer Himself Up

Inspired by Bess Levin's Ten Ways Alan Greenspan Cheers Himself Up When He’s Feeling Blue, I produce below the ten things Ben Bernanke does to cheer himself up.

1. Re-reads Paul Krugman column where Krugman wrote:

"There’s really nothing here to shake my view that deflation, not inflation, is the threat."

2. Calls Geithner and tells him that all Obama Cabinet Members are going to be audited by IRS agent Take No Prisoners Betty.

3. Calls Lloyd Blankfein and tells him that he is going to resign, join a kibbutz in Israel and he thinks one of Ron Paul's granddaughters may take his place at the Fed.

4. Day dreams of taking Ron Paul to dinner in Washington D.C. at Citronelle and paying for the dinner with crisp newly printed hundred dollar bills.

5. He leaks to the Wall Street Journal that Alan Greenspan is still doing Barbara Walters.

6. Watches the video where Cato Institute Chairman Emeritus William A. Niskanen applauds him for doubling the monetary base.

7. Calls Barnes & Noble, while using the name Paul Volcker, and orders a copy of his book, Essays on the Great Depression.

8. Compares Zimbabwe money growth numbers to those of the Fed.

9. Temporarily removes and from his internet bookmarks

10. Under the pen name, Mother Theresa, writes a negative Amazon review of End the Fed.


  1. 11. Hopping from foot to foot as the daily F-E-D POMO chimes goes off.(

    12. Loosening his tool belt a notch, parking his feet on the "print" button on his desk, then nodding off, dreaming about his new pal Mubarak (Hosni Moob and HoseMe Ben, BFF).

  2. 11. Goes to the barber shop to check prices, and then chuckles when noting that that segment of the CPI will never apply to him.

  3. 14. Buys a copy of "Fahrenheit 451". Then develops a plan (just for fun) on how to destroy the works of Mises, Hayek, Bastiat, Sowell, Taleb and Orwell.

  4. 15. Calculates how many trees were saved by not having to print all these newly created $, and smiles.

    16. Thinks how smart it is to create $trillions out of nowhere, next charge the sheople and the government interest on it,... and still be seen as the savior of the banks and the economy.

  5. HAHA! Nice. However, where is "kiss his own ass?" Perhaps you should change it to eleven things he does to cheer himself up..:-) Oh, and number twelve, "please God, make weed legal so when I face Ron Paul I can at least smile."