Thursday, June 9, 2011

LBJ's Great Grandkids are at it In Chicago, Again; Brother of Smashing Pumpkins Frontman is Smashed

The brother of Billy Corgan was punched and robbed in Chicago today by some of LBJ's Great Society  greatgrandkids.

Reports the Chicago Tribune:
The brother of rock musician Billy Corgan was mugged on a Red Line train on the Near North Side this morning by a group who punched him and took his iPod, police say.

Jesse Andersen said he was riding the CTA Red Line train early this morning on his way to his 5 a.m. shift at the Hyatt Regency Hotel, listening to Nelly Furtado on his iPod.

Several teens started walking around the train and bothering people, include one who approached Andersen and tried to get him to do a fist bump, he said.

One person from the group — whom Andersen described as a “tom boy” wearing a red baseball cap — sat next to him, asked who he was listening to and snatched his iPod from his hand.
“I’m like, ‘Give it back to me…Give it back. Give it back,’” Andersen said. He said one person from the group then replied: “It’s your damn loss, brother.”

The iPod changed hands among the teens as two of them, one wearing a navy blue shirt and another wearing a white shirt, blocked him from trying to get it back, he said. When the train stopped at the southbound Chicago Avenue platform, Andersen said he chased after them.

One of the teens punched him in the face and the group escaped. Andersen said he mostly suffered a "bruised ego.”...

The assailants, believed to be four males and the one female, were described as 15 to 25 years old, Chicago police said. No one was in custody...

...This morning's attack followed a Wednesday afternoon mugging at the Brown Line stop three blocks away, in which a group stole a male victim's wallet and iPhone. That group comprised four to six people, with one of them possibly female, police said. But police couldn't say if the same people were responsible for both attacks.


  1. Say, what are the gun laws like in the Windy City?

  2. The moral of this story is more simple than it may appear:

    When someone tries to fist bump you, for god sakes fist bump them. If you don't know how to, LEARN. It is a subconscious attempt to communicate "Are you "down", or are you a suckah?" I know that may make no sense to some of you and I'm not going to go into a huge dissection/criticism of it. but take the advice, or wind up a "suckah!"

    Eventually, you may also come to appreciate the significance of the fist bump, its subtextual meaning, and why it matters. Until then, it may help you keep your IPod.

  3. Yes, a failure to fist bump causes teens to rob you and assault you.


    Neville Chamberlain on line 1...


  4. A fist bump would not have stopped anything. It's more likely that the attempted fist bump was used as a distraction to make him lower his guard, you'll notice it took the girl to make him lower his guard.

  5. I think the moral is to learn how to fight and annihilate punk kids who think they're bad. It's the best way to deal with the type.

  6. In Portland, Oregon the light rail is called the MAX. Thuggy teens and other sub-humans hang out at the light rail stops. About once a week there's a stabbing or something at one of the light rail stops. Almost every time I ride it, especially at night, there are Aholes riding it that should be shot. Problem is that if you shoot one and do society a favor it is YOU that will go to jail. THUS noone says anything to the Aholes for fear an incident will occur and YOU the law abiding citizen will be charged with a crime. I just carry my scandium .357 in my pocket and ignore them. Now if I were a police man I could cut 'em in half with little provocation and NOTHING would happen to me and if people get huffy about it the union will back me up, give me a few months off during the investigation and give me full back pay when they find me innocent of cutting them in half with little provocation. THAT's the way it is here in Portland, Or.

  7. You put that well, Mr. Kersey.