Monday, December 5, 2011

Newt Gingrich's Plan to Blast North Korea with Orbiting Death Rays

A preview of Newt Gingrich, Commander-in-Chief.

In April of 2009, Gingrich went on Fox News to declare that North Korea's impending launch of a missile must be stopped — with "whatever preemptive actions are necessary!" reports Wired.

"I'd find a way to have either a small team go in, or a way to deliver either a laser or another kind of device," Gingrich noted.

Gingrich was likely talking about the Airborne Laser, the jumbo jet tricked out with a missile-zapping directed energy cannon. As Speaker of the House, Newt had intervened several times to keep the project alive, despite broken deadlines and mushrooming costs, according to Wired.

Despite being $4 billion over budget, "none of [its] seven critical technologies are fully mature after more than a decade of development," the Government Accountability Office noted in a report.

Wired continues:
Not long after Gingrich's suggestion to use the laser, then-Defense Secretary Robert Gates radically scaled back the Airborne Laser effort — and repeatedly pointed to it as an example of everything that was dumb and wrong about the Pentagon's weapon-development process.
As for the North Korean missile that Gingrich so feared, it was as big a flop as the laser Gingrich wanted to fight it with. The missile's first stage fell into the Sea of Japan, and the remaining stages landed in the Pacific Ocean.


  1. Gingrich is definitely a warmonger. And he's not solid on economics either, despite presenting himself as a free-market guy. He wants gov't to build all sorts of projects. Check out The Economics of Newt Gingrich article:

  2. It's a propaganda policy of mixed signals. While they speak of the great American power out of one side of their mouth, they also speak out of the other to illuminate the threats posed by those who are inferior. It's like waging war upon those who wipe their ass from the front rather than from the rear.

    It's like calling the 80 year old down the street a "terrorist" merely because he owns a double-barrel shotgun. For some reason nobody ever thinks to question the fact that he's 80 and is packing what (militarily) amounts to a skeet shooter. But, hey. He does have a "gun" and his odor does offend my nose... let's kill him.

    Yes, I am comparing North Korea with an 80 year old man with a double-barrel shotgun in hand. Whoa, that's scary (sic). What they fail to mention is that he can't see past a few feet due to glaucoma, that he shits himself and must wear diapers due to incontinence, that he doesn't even remember his own name thanks to dementia, that he is on a fixed income (without any market investment), and that while he has a shotgun, he cannot afford to buy more than the 5 shells that he holds in his sock drawer (which takes him all of 45 seconds to reach).

    If Newt had had his way, we'd be halfway through killing this old geriatric's family by now. But, of course, those young and sprite offspring from his loins would never think to hold a grudge. No, they'd most assuredly assimilate to their new grandaddy-- the grande 'ol US of A.

    When will people like Newt and his followers realize that killing people never solves the problems, it only exacerbates them? This is especially true when the majority of all warfare has been perpetrated by the same entity over the course of the past 50 years.

  3. The whole laser weapon thing is Solyndra - like.

    What is the other guy has a mirror??

  4. When he said "laser" did he make quotation marks in the air with is index and middle fingers?

    "Hello DARPA? This is President Gingrich. How much longer till I get the sharks with lasers on their heads? By the way, what kinda money would it take to science me up some flying monkeys?"

  5. I do not understand how more attention is not being given to his Hitler-like tendencies in calling for the extermination of large swaths of people...