Saturday, February 2, 2013

TSA Will Be Prowling the Super Bowl

Baghdad TSA Bob reports:
Super Bowl fans may encounter TSA Visible Intermodal Prevention and Response (VIPR) teams on local transportation venues, including commercial and general aviation facilities and mass transit. Teams augment other federal, state, and local transportation and law enforcement to reduce potential terrorist risks to the traveling public. TSA assets will also work with law enforcement at Mercedes-Benz Superdome during the high-profile game. Fans are encouraged to report potentially dangerous situations to law enforcement or someone in authority. 
I wonder what will happen if Kapernick decides to throw a bomb?

Baghdad also provides the following travel tip:
Here is a list of items that should be placed in your checked bags instead of your carry-on bags to comply with our liquids guidelines: Creamy dips and spreads, BBQ sauce, cheeses, peanut butter, salsa, jams, salad dressings, jellies, maple syrup, sauces, soups, wine, liquor and beer.
I feel safer already.

5 comments:

  1. those things that should be checked, is that so agents on the job have easy access to food while on the job?

    ReplyDelete
  2. VIPR huh? Is there a government agency responsible for these goofy acronyms?

    ReplyDelete
  3. TSA will be specifically targeting restroom areas during halftime and will conduct patdowns and genital Visable Intermodal Prevention and Response (VIPR - known interagency as Violate Inalilenable Personal Rights) looking for "Creamy dips and spreads, BBQ sauce, cheeses, peanut butter, salsa, jams, salad dressings, jellies, maple syrup, sauces, soups, wine, liquor and beer".

    Why? Because we like it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why am I seeing a Mercedes-Benz ad in the middle of a TSA bulletin?

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Fans are encouraged to report potentially dangerous situations to law enforcement or someone in authority."

    Does this include the TSA itself?

    ReplyDelete