Friday, October 18, 2013

The Crazy Things I Used to Try to Cure Loneliness

By James Altucher

I’ve done everything to avoid being lonely.

I pretended to be a psychic on Craigslist.

I’ve spent ten hours a day on dating sites.

I asked out girls in elevators, girls in laundromats, girls at ATM machines, waitresses, more waitresses, thousands of waitresses. Only one said yes. And then she didn’t show up.

I joined a cult. I went to theater productions.

When I was at HBO, I came up with an entire job description for myself so I had an excuse to talk to people. I convinced them to let me interview prostitutes and drug dealers at three in the morning on random nights.

I had to get enough courage to go up to random homeless people and within thirty seconds or less get them to tell me their life stories without killing me.

One piece of advice: it’s never good to talk to a couple that are carrying glass bottles and screaming at each other outside in the rain at three in the morning. They will turn their rage against you. I tested this out for you so you don’t have to do it. Thank me if you ever see me.

I used to be so shy my grandfather would have to ask other kids on the playground if they wanted to play with me. When I was in college, I don’t think I ever said a single word at a party. I would just look at people and wonder what it would be like to kiss them.

I never read “The Game” or any kind of pickup thing. I never met a girl at a bar or a party or anything like that.

The only pickup line I ever used was, “Didn’t I once see you in Canada?” and it didn’t work.

Then suddenly I stopped being lonely.

Read the rest here.

1 comment:

  1. cos there is nothing like somebody asking you about you (in a nice way)