Wednesday, September 17, 2014

What Abraham Lincoln Would Do About Scotland

 Rafi Farber emails:
Before we decide what to think about Scottish independence, let's consider what our beloved forefather, Abraham Lincoln, Honest Abe, would do if he were head of the UK in the event that the Scots secede from the United Kingdom tomorrow.
Answer: He would make some stupid but eloquent speech about how a House Divided Cannot Stand...and then proceed to bomb the living crap out of Scotland, murdering as many people as possible man woman and child, burning their property and salting the earth. And after he broke their will to fight, he would force them back in the UK and tax the living daylights out of them. Then we would all celebrate him hundreds of years later for saving the country.


  1. Although I like the argument there's no way I would attempt to convince someone with it.

    It has no counter to someone claiming the key difference is Scotland doesn't have slavery. The slavery motivation is a key pillar of the Lincoln mythology which cannot be easily exorcised.

    1. how about the fact that Lincoln was racist, supported fugitive slave laws, "freed" some slaves in a timely fashion to win the war, etc. Oh wait, your right. Nobody knows any of this or cares to listen.

    2. Those aren't great arguments either; they're ad hominems. The best argument is the simple truth that slavery wasn't even mentioned as a reason for war until the North started losing.

  2. Haha!

    Also I agree with Bill A. Unfortunately the tyrant and white-supremacist Lincoln gets credited with being an anti-slavery champion. What a joke.