Michael Atkinson emails:
Recently took a flight from the Midwest to the left coast. In the airport, all of the sheep were being corralled toward the Chertoff porno scanners. I asked tsa tax feeder guy if I could proceed through the metal detectors. He advised no, that I could have a pat down instead.When they ask me why I don't want to go through the porno scanner, I tell them I have Rothbardian sensitivity to the machines, I tell them from what I understand it's still a rare sensitivity but growing because so many are put through the scanners.
Being pulled aside, a second tsa guy asks if I would rather have this done somewhere more private. Already feeling like a criminal, I said no, right in front of everyone was fine. TSA guy pats me down. What’s that, you didn’t find anything? No- apparently some residue on his gloves set off an alarm.
As we are awaiting more storm troopers to come over, TSA guys asks repeatedly why I won’t go through the porno scanner. ‘they emit less radiation then cell phones’ he tells me.
My ID and ticket are confiscated and whisked away to some back room. TSA guy #3 joins #2 and they take me to a little room where I can’t be seen. I’m told I have to be objected to another pat down, only this time more ‘intimate’. TSA 3 begins giving me the pat down and touches my junk multiple times. I felt sick and violated. Nothing again was found, only this time I’m allowed to carry on.
"Rothbardian sensitivity to the machines" ! ! ! I love it! But I would say to him "They're lying to you; these machines have never been properly tested, and those of you standing around them a lot are going to be sorry one day."
ReplyDeleteI had a surreal experience at airport security recently. Transferring through Atlanta, I opted out of the pornoscanner (no signs were posted advising passengers that they could do this, btw) and proceeded to be rubbed down on the other side. A couple feet away in the waiting area an elderly man was on the floor being resuscitated by paramedics as the security theater continued apace. Not even a dying man nearby puts a halt to the groping.
ReplyDeleteI opt out of every time. One TSA agent said "Don't believe what you hear on T.V., there is not much radiation." I replied, "I don't watch T.V. ma'am."
ReplyDeleteI always "fluff" a bit, then opt out and moan a bit when they get to my special areas. I love to watcht them blush, but I'm scared if one of them turns out to be cute I might get in trouble.
ReplyDeleteWow, you must do yoga or something. That takes a lot of flexibility.
DeleteRothbardian sensitivity, I love it!! I opt out every time, and I travel a lot....its horrible, but I do think the TSA agents are trying to be nicer....
ReplyDeleteWhen I ask for the pat down, I usually say "I'll take the free massage." Then I turn to everyone else and say "No one else wants a free massage?"
ReplyDeleteSo what is your solution? Profiling? Expelling foreigners? Doing nothing?
ReplyDeleteThere is no solution needed. The whole thing is ABSURD. The only reason 9/11 happened is because the passengers thought they would land safely. No plane will ever get hijacked in the US again. The second someone tries, the passengers would rush the cockpit. Might someone sneak in a gun or a bomb and blow up the plane? Yes. But they could do the same to a bus, a train, a coffee shop, a museum etc... You want to scan everyone, everywhere!? Think about it! Billions wasted for NOTHING. Of course logic doesn't matter to these fascists.
DeleteWhat you really should be telling them in front of everyone to hear, and make sure it loud enough for people near you to hear but not shouting.
ReplyDeleteTell them you were abused as a child (doesn't matter if it's not true but those other passengers will sympathize with you and against the groping TSA) and you might react involuntarily by kicking the TSA agent. Make sure the other boarding passengers can hear you.
When the TSA agent starts groping and even before getting near your junk start making a face as though you're having flashback emotions of your abuse. Also refuse to be taken to any secret room to be further groped and repeat the story that you were abused as a child (again doesn't matter if it's not true.) Don't give details.
Doing that will turn people against the TSA agents and sympathize with you instead.
P.S. For those that think those gestapo porno scanners are safe, an MIT study has shown that they damage DNA by separating the double strands.
Also flinching when they start touching you might be a good idea.
DeleteI would really like to know how the TSA is billed for use of these machines. Are they "pay per use" or does the TSA bill them outright. If "pay per use" they have an incentive to get more people through them. Crony capitalism at it's best.
ReplyDeleteStupid commentators, touched "...my junk...", "...my anus...", "...my vagina...", "...my crotch...", bla, bla, bla.
ReplyDeleteStay off the freaking planes.
Great advice Scarlett if your job involves flying a lot. For vacation you could opt out of flying but if your family is counting on you to earn an income and your income comes from a job where you have to fly- how can you stay off the planes?
ReplyDeleteScanner or Grope is kinda like Democrat or Republican.
ReplyDeleteI fly twice a week and have submitted to the scanner, and I feel disgusted every time. But the thought of those fucking idiots groping me is even more disturbing. They look like they lost their job at McDonalds, probably because of their bad attitude, so they had to go work for the one entity they knew wouldn't fire them. I hate them with a passion.
ReplyDelete