Thursday, December 16, 2010

TSA Choir Will Sing While You Are Groped

The LAX TSA Choir, a group of 17 singers and musicians, all of them employees of the TSA, have been surprising passengers with performances of holiday music and other tunes in the midst of one of the nation's busiest airports, reports USA Today .

The choir, according to USA Today, worked through an hour-long set list that included such holiday biggies, and I kid you not, as: America the Beautiful, God Bless the U.S.A. and Battle Hymn of the Republic.

How about the TSA having a Christmas song of its own:

Our job is to grope
Women, kids even the Pope

We are pulling  and prodding to see how much the sheeple will take
None of this is more than security fake

Why when a real underwear bomber wanted to board a plane
We escorted him without a pat or even a check of his thang

Yes, we are the frontline of the expanding authoritarian state
Pulling and prodding to see how much the sheeple will take

Naomi Wolf, Rockwell, Jones and Rivero will scream we have a devious plan
But you have to understand we are what the brothers call The Man

So take radiation or take the grope
There really is no hope

We got all the entrances and exits blocked
And the chains we are slowly putting on you will soon be locked

You see, the sheeple don't study history and they can't think for themselves
So they just confuse us with Santa's little elves


  1. TSA Christmas Carols

    Had my way with a manager
    No need for a bed
    But the little whore seized
    As I grab hold of his head

    The stars are best scanned
    (although we’d like to have our way)
    Cos we blackmail them with pictures
    Of shriveled members from our x-ray

    But the cattle are now crowing
    And the sheeple awakes
    So the media protects us
    By printing innocuous fakes

    You see, in order to appease us
    We have to feel around your thigh
    And scan your naked hide
    ‘Til we make you all cry.

    Beware of all terrorists
    Is the mantra we say
    Whilst we terrorize your ass
    And you wish you were gay

    And when it comes to the children
    We really don’t care
    About all those obscenity laws
    Sue us if you dare

    Also, some other classics:
    You’ll be Naked the Agents Sing,
    from Newborns to Important Kings…

    Oh come get you’re fateful,
    make me joyful and contented….

    Its Silly to be Shy, Though
    I like it when you groan….

  2. To Jingle Bells:

    Searching Hell searching hell,
    Searching all the way
    Inside your pants, inside your but,
    My thing is there to stay, yea!

    Laughing through the search,
    With porno hands we grope,
    Oh what fun it always is
    To rub you with my stroke!

    Searching Hell, searching hell,
    Fondling all your parts,
    Oh what joy we really get
    when smelling your dirty farts, Yea!

    TSA, TSA, TSA today!
    Let’s all join now
    In one big song,
    For we know the feds aren’t wrong!