Yet again, I let the TSA dose me with radiation and photograph me naked. I know that I would have done nothing to resist the Nazis. #shame
— Greg Karber (@gregkarber) October 22, 2012
As any helpful TSA employee with technical training in radiology can explain to you (there are so many of them, apparently), the machine doesn't actually involve any radiation. Somehow it peers through your clothing without it. Maybe magic, or something like that.
Greg's not alone. 99% of America is doing nothing. Hell, it doesn't even strike a chord to be a martyr for anything, anymore.
The public watches sports. Somehow that's the most magical thing that has ever existed. Almost more magical than sex. Talking about anything painful or unpleasent must be feathered with jokes to remove any reality possible.
Deep down, I think tens-of-millions know things suck. But they sure don't want to make any attempt to change it. They had a chance of a start by voting in Ron Paul.
While I'm sure it is a traumatic experience for those that have been victims of sexual assault, there is no shame in opting for the grope. In fact, it's the least shameful choice you can make in the airport because it's the choice the state does not want you to make.
In airports where there is no way to avoid the porno-scanners, I always opt for the grope and I make sure it's much more uncomfortable for the groper. Not only do I make uncomfortable small talk for the entire grope session (topics include my testicles, bowel movements, etc.) but I also make sure that any time they glance up towards my face, they're looking right into my eyes.
There are 2 main reasons for this...
1) Most of the people who take jobs like this do so because of severe insecurity/self-esteem/self-worth issues. It's what attracts them to a job where they wear a costume and bully people. If you treat them as what they are -- a person wearing a stupid costume doing a mindless and demeaning job -- they tend to revert back to their insecure selves and want to get rid of you ASAP. When they detect someone is scared of the perceived authority, they take advantage of the situation to numb their own insecurity.
2) Opting for the grope is the single-most effective thing you can do to gum up the works. If only 2 out of every 10 passengers opted out, it would be enough to cause major delays in most airports. If 5 out of 10 opted out, it would probably be enough to have the system changed within a month (although they might change it to make it worse -- still a win though). [See Leave Your Laptop in Your Bag and How To Gum Up Any Institution]
For the last five years, I have taken about sixty flights a year for business. With one exception (I was within seconds of missing a flight that was important for personal reasons) I have opted-out and taken the grope instead of the cancer scanners. Based on my experience, here are two observations:
1. It may be possible to do a "self-directed opt out". As you are waiting in line to present your papers, (comrade...,) observe the screening process ahead. If there are multiple lanes, one lane is metal detector only. Choose that lane; it will move faster with less hassle. Once you are through, report that happy circumstance (or its absence) to tsastatus.net.
2. If you are directed towards the cancer scanner, opt out politely. Yes, I detest the TSA as much as you do, and the worst of the blue-shirtedcarnival barkers certainly seem like they would have quite enjoyed working at Treblinka or Solovki. But just as a lot of gulag guards were only reluctant parts of the system that employed them, and so too you will meet many TSA agents who are only there because they got tired of working in a fast food restaurant or collecting welfare, and don't particularly want to hassle you. Believe it or not, your interaction with them can actually be positive on several levels:
First, fairly often the screener has no more interest in groping you than you do in being groped, and you may end up with a screening that is quite thorough as regards your ankles and forearms, but completely elides your groin and anywhere nearby. (However, I am told that this is much less common for female travelers in general, and I can testify that, unsurprisingly, it will not happen for male travelers at SFO. No doubt the gay thing contributes heavily to this, but it may not be the only factor; for some reason unknown to me there is a disproportionate amount of jerks working at SFO, from check-in agents to the rental car people. Just one more reason to give that whole airport a miss.)
A second reason to be civil with the screener is that it has given me an opportunity to start a conversation about why I am opting out: no one really knows about the long-term effects of backscatter X-rays or millimeter waves, even at low levels; and who knows whether the machines are actually calibrated properly, or whether they are instead pumping out much higher levels of radiation? Once the screeners hear this enough times, they start worrying about being around the machines all day.
Now we know that the federal leviathan is completely indifferent to the concerns of its hapless subjects with the cancer scanners. However, TSA screeners are not mere Mundanes but rather unionized federal employees-- flesh of Leviathan's flesh! It is therefore not inconceivable that the Feds might ditch the cancer scanners if screeners can goad their union into a fight.
Yes, in this era of the ascendancy of statism, the best ally we can hope for against the state is... another part of the state! What an ignominious end to what America used to represent.
As any helpful TSA employee with technical training in radiology can explain to you (there are so many of them, apparently), the machine doesn't actually involve any radiation. Somehow it peers through your clothing without it. Maybe magic, or something like that.
ReplyDeleteGreg's not alone. 99% of America is doing nothing. Hell, it doesn't even strike a chord to be a martyr for anything, anymore.
ReplyDeleteThe public watches sports. Somehow that's the most magical thing that has ever existed. Almost more magical than sex. Talking about anything painful or unpleasent must be feathered with jokes to remove any reality possible.
Deep down, I think tens-of-millions know things suck. But they sure don't want to make any attempt to change it. They had a chance of a start by voting in Ron Paul.
brilliant!
ReplyDeletealthough the poor bugger could have at least opted out and received a gate-rape. it's just as much shame, but less cancer.
While I'm sure it is a traumatic experience for those that have been victims of sexual assault, there is no shame in opting for the grope. In fact, it's the least shameful choice you can make in the airport because it's the choice the state does not want you to make.
DeleteIn airports where there is no way to avoid the porno-scanners, I always opt for the grope and I make sure it's much more uncomfortable for the groper. Not only do I make uncomfortable small talk for the entire grope session (topics include my testicles, bowel movements, etc.) but I also make sure that any time they glance up towards my face, they're looking right into my eyes.
There are 2 main reasons for this...
1) Most of the people who take jobs like this do so because of severe insecurity/self-esteem/self-worth issues. It's what attracts them to a job where they wear a costume and bully people. If you treat them as what they are -- a person wearing a stupid costume doing a mindless and demeaning job -- they tend to revert back to their insecure selves and want to get rid of you ASAP. When they detect someone is scared of the perceived authority, they take advantage of the situation to numb their own insecurity.
2) Opting for the grope is the single-most effective thing you can do to gum up the works. If only 2 out of every 10 passengers opted out, it would be enough to cause major delays in most airports. If 5 out of 10 opted out, it would probably be enough to have the system changed within a month (although they might change it to make it worse -- still a win though). [See Leave Your Laptop in Your Bag and How To Gum Up Any Institution]
For the last five years, I have taken about sixty flights a year for business. With one exception (I was within seconds of missing a flight that was important for personal reasons) I have opted-out and taken the grope instead of the cancer scanners. Based on my experience, here are two observations:
ReplyDelete1. It may be possible to do a "self-directed opt out". As you are waiting in line to present your papers, (comrade...,) observe the screening process ahead. If there are multiple lanes, one lane is metal detector only. Choose that lane; it will move faster with less hassle. Once you are through, report that happy circumstance (or its absence) to tsastatus.net.
2. If you are directed towards the cancer scanner, opt out politely. Yes, I detest the TSA as much as you do, and the worst of the blue-shirtedcarnival barkers certainly seem like they would have quite enjoyed working at Treblinka or Solovki. But just as a lot of gulag guards were only reluctant parts of the system that employed them, and so too you will meet many TSA agents who are only there because they got tired of working in a fast food restaurant or collecting welfare, and don't particularly want to hassle you. Believe it or not, your interaction with them can actually be positive on several levels:
First, fairly often the screener has no more interest in groping you than you do in being groped, and you may end up with a screening that is quite thorough as regards your ankles and forearms, but completely elides your groin and anywhere nearby. (However, I am told that this is much less common for female travelers in general, and I can testify that, unsurprisingly, it will not happen for male travelers at SFO. No doubt the gay thing contributes heavily to this, but it may not be the only factor; for some reason unknown to me there is a disproportionate amount of jerks working at SFO, from check-in agents to the rental car people. Just one more reason to give that whole airport a miss.)
A second reason to be civil with the screener is that it has given me an opportunity to start a conversation about why I am opting out: no one really knows about the long-term effects of backscatter X-rays or millimeter waves, even at low levels; and who knows whether the machines are actually calibrated properly, or whether they are instead pumping out much higher levels of radiation? Once the screeners hear this enough times, they start worrying about being around the machines all day.
Now we know that the federal leviathan is completely indifferent to the concerns of its hapless subjects with the cancer scanners. However, TSA screeners are not mere Mundanes but rather unionized federal employees-- flesh of Leviathan's flesh! It is therefore not inconceivable that the Feds might ditch the cancer scanners if screeners can goad their union into a fight.
Yes, in this era of the ascendancy of statism, the best ally we can hope for against the state is... another part of the state! What an ignominious end to what America used to represent.