Saturday, April 19, 2014

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

From The Onion:

Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back and enjoy themselves while the United States collapses of its own accord.

Multiple intelligence agencies confirmed that the militant Islamist organization and its numerous affiliates intend to carry out a massive, coordinated plan to stand aside and watch America’s increasingly rapid decline, with terrorist operatives across the globe reportedly mobilizing to take it easy, relax, and savor the spectacle as it unfolds.


  1. LOL. honestly they don't really need to do anything anyway. The shit turd Leftist and other statist are already doing the job for them.

  2. What has always made The Onion interesting it's their willingness to throw the occasional true story in the mix. 'Glad to see that this policy hasn't changed.

  3. There is much truth in that article.

  4. That sounds like the building 7 conspiracy theory. How can a building collapse like that on its own accord?

    There must be some grand Communist plan which explains this all! The Onion is wrong!

  5. I would've spit on that bitch's face.

  6. I saw this piece earlier this week and it reminded me of an interview of Bin Laden from about ten years ago where he talked about bleeding the United States bankrupt.

    Amongst a lot of things he droned about, he said: "All that we have to do is to send two Mujahedin to the farthest point East to raise a piece of cloth on which is written al-Qa'ida in order to make the generals race there to cause America to suffer human economic and political losses without their achieving for it anything of note other than some benefits to their private companies."

    It was a long interview, but the bottom line of it was the USA government was being rope-a-doped, which isn't to difficult to accomplish when you consider who was in charge then and who is in charge now. They don't call it an idiocracy for nothing.

  7. The only false note:
    The FBI uncovered something???