Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Help Obama Pick His Thanksgiving Turkey

By, Chris Rossini
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Let's help President Obama pick this year's Thanksgiving Turkey that he will pardon.

Here are the contestants and they're qualifying statements (in no particular order):

Turkey #1 - Robert Reich

Turkey #2 - Matt Yglesias

Turkey #3 - Joe Weisenthal

Turkey #4 - Katrina vandenHeuvel

Turkey #5 - Van Jones

Turkey #6 - Paul Krugman

There you have it America! The competition is fierce, so make sure to vote. Your voice must be heard!

We're going to do this American Idol style, so pick up that phone and dial 1-800-LUV-GVMT. You will need to wait on hold for 2-3 hrs to cast your vote, but the authorities ask that you please be patient. A recording of the Gettysburg Address will be playing in a loop while you wait.


On a more serious note, even though we libertarians are surrounded by turkeys, we always have the truth on our side.

On this Thanksgiving holiday, let us not forget its true meaning and origin, which dates back to 1623 (and won't be found in a government schoolbook):

In Plymouth, the original contract that the Pilgrims had with their merchant-sponsors in London called for Communism. For 2 yrs. the Pilgrims followed the age-old custom prevalent in Britain of “farming in common”.

Unsurprisingly to us libertarians, they starved.

Fortunately Governor William Bradford recognized the inherent problem with the collectivist system. He decided to assign a plot of land to each family to work and manage, thus unleashing the power of free enterprise.

Bradford documented the results: “This had very good success,” he wrote, “for it made all hands industrious, so as much more corn was planted than otherwise would have been.”

After reaping the benefits of free enterprise, the Pilgrims “sett aparte a day of thanksgiving.” Governor Bradford added that, “Any generall wante or famine hath not been amongst them since to this day.”

The Pilgrims, naturally had more food than they could eat themselves. They set up trading posts and exchanged goods with the Indians. The profits allowed them to pay off their debts to the merchants in London, which was subsequently eliminated from the scene and all of the assets and lands were distributed to the individual shareholders.

A fine example, among the many, of capitalism keeping people alive as they battle the ideas and power of The State.


  1. Hilarious! It really is hard to decide which is the biggest turkey of them all.

  2. Don't pardon these turkeys! Put them on the dinner table!

  3. "Climate change deserves more discussion in the context of the generation gap on voting behavior."

    This appears to be written in English, but I have no idea what it means.

    1. To these people words mean nothing. Global warming has been renamed Climate Change since the last 15 years have shown a cooling trend. They are know nothing fools.