Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Bushies Show Blagojevich How It's Done

There are no tapes of how this deal went down, but my bet is that it went down something like this.

Hank Paulson and The President, back in September:

Paulson: Lehman's a bunch of asssholes, lets take'm down.

The President: Ah, I dunno. My cousin George Herbert Walker works there and my brother, Jeb, is an advisor.

Paulson: Come on , outside of your cousin and your brother, they're assholes. I'll even let your cousin and your brother grab the crown jewel, Neuberger, from Lehman once it is in bankruptcy, and they won't have to put up any cash.

The President: Yeah?

Paulson: Yeah, consider Neuberger a new family jewel.

The President: What if somebody else tries to bid for Neuberger with cash?

Paulson: Fuck em. If anybody tries, we'll send them in an envelope an annonymous post card from Guantanamo saying "Wish you were here" and enclose a picture of former Lehman CEO Dick Fuld. They'll get the message.

Laughter all around.

High fives all around.

Bloomberg reports Wednesday:

Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc.’s planned sale of its investment-management division is valued at about $1.2 billion in stock, according to two people familiar with the transaction.

Lehman, in bankruptcy, was forced to deal away Neuberger Berman for no cash last week...

Analysts valued the money-management division at as much as $7 billion earlier this year, before market declines eroded its assets...When the business was valued at around $7 billion in August by Sanford & Bernstein analysts, it initially drew interest from some of the world’s biggest private-equity firms, including Blackstone Group LP and KKR & Co. Neither one ultimately bid...

The Walker [Group also] beat a bid of $2.15 billion for the whole division by private-equity firm Bain Capital LLC.... Carlyle Group [with $40 billion in cash on the sidelines]...weighed a bid... though it didn’t make an offer.

“Neuberger management [Lead by George Herbert Walker] received the deal of a lifetime by obtaining 51 percent of the common stock for no cash, because that will take control of Neuberger away from the Lehman bankruptcy,” said Martin Bienenstock, who heads the restructuring group at the law firm Dewey & LeBoeuf and represents Lehman creditors, today in a telephone interview.

In addition to cousin George Herbert Walker as CEO, GW's brother Jeb will remain an advisor. Plus they both most assuredly received tons of stock, no money down.

Blago, eat your heart out.

2 comments:

  1. I can't believe you think our public servants use such potty language. Obscenity theorist!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are right, maybe it's only the wives:

    "During the call, ROD BLAGOJEVICH's wife can be heard in the background telling ROD BLAGOJEVICH to tell Deputy Governor A 'to hold up that
    fucking Cubs shit. . . fuck them."

    ReplyDelete