Taibbi Attempts to Blow Up Free Markets, Using a Wet Diaper

Who really needs terrorists when America has Matt "Tonzo" Taibbi?

Last time I commented on the Tonzo man, he had blown himself up with a ridiculous comment about naked short-selling that included a bogus video that has everyone from the SEC to the DOJ looking into its source.

He has still not publicly commented on the episode and has not told the public who stuffed him with the bogus video. In short (pun intended), Tonzo has been acting like Tiger Woods, when we only knew about the first three or four Woods' mistresses.

But Tonzo is trying to move on. He is back with a Rolling Stone piece that, guess what? Tells us that Obama is in bed with Goldman Sachs and the Wall Street elite. Since sharp reporters have been reporting that Goldman Sachs was influencing government finance policies, at a time that Tonzo probably thought Goldman Sachs was a new type of ladies handbag, it is not likely to cause January copies of Rolling Stone to fly off the shelves.

Yet in the interest of those who have subscriptions to Rolling Stone and will, thus, be force fed the issue. Here are the Tonzo thigh slappers that shouldn't be taken too seriously:

This new team of bubble-fattened ex-bankers and laissez-faire intellectuals then proceeded to sell us all out, instituting a massive, trickle-up bailout and systematically gutting regulatory reform from the inside.

"Laissez-faire intellectuals" at the @#$% White House? Clearly, Tonzo has discovered that mixing Quaaludes with bong hits gives him a vivid imagination. The closest a laissez-faire intellectual gets to the White House is when I occasionally walk by on Pennsylvania Avenue. And no one there ever pays any attention to my passbys, except when Michelle is chauffeured out in a limo full of her friends, I'm guessing, that are from the south side of Chicago. They all wave.

But back to Tonzo:

The irony of Bob Rubin: He's an unapologetic arch-capitalist demagogue whose very career is proof that a free-market meritocracy is a myth.

Rubin as an "arch-capitalist demagouge" has nothing to do with free markets. It's clear Tonzo is not only mixing Quaaludes with bong hits, he's on Percocet and Cialis with a Viagra kicker. Rubin has been a revolving door government/banker elitist since he probably stole his parents' loose change and stuffed it in his first piggy bank. Rubin has been a Goldmanite, Treasury Secretary, Director and Senior Counselor of Citigroup, and has at least a dozen well placed operatives in the Obama White House. This has nothing to do with free markets. Tonzo might just as well expose me as Tiger Woods' secret 83rd mistress.