Monday, January 7, 2013

Going To McDonald's For An Apple Is Like Going To A Hooker For A Hug

By, Chris Rossini
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The health dictators hate McDonald's.

Millions of people peacefully making eating decisions based on their own value scales.

What an atrocity!

It irritates people like NYC Mayor Bloomberg, and the legions of petty officials who don't know how to mind their own business. After all (in their minds) they are to survey the land and exert force when their sheep don't follow their rules.

In all the years that I've been to McDonald's, I have yet to see anyone dragged in kicking and screaming against their will. People go willfully, order what they like, and are fortunate enough to have the food ready in minutes.

You know where people don't like to go, but are forced to? The DMV, The Social Security Office, and the crown jewel, Jury Duty. Opening mail for any of those things is like getting punched in the stomach. Now you have to shuffle your life around to go wait....and wait....and wait...and get treated like garbage to boot.

But McDonald's serves millions and billions...and the dictators go nuts.

My family and I love McDonald's. I've been a customer for as long as I can remember. But recently I'm starting to notice traces of the dictators when we visit.

First, the menus are now filled with numbers such as calories, and whatever else...I never read them, as I suspect 99% of others don't do as well. You have to now search through a mess of numbers to get to the one that you want: the price!

McDonald's, more than anyone, knows what their customers want. And they have proven to be extremely successful at supplying it. There is no way that customers would demand a jumbled mess of numbers on the menu. Only the parasitic class would force such a thing on all of us.

Next, my kids love getting Happy Meals. They love McDonald's signature french fries, nuggets, cheeseburgers, etc.

But you know what is now stuffed inside that magical Happy Meal box? Apples...


We didn't go to McDonald's for apples!

And you know what happens to those bags of apples? My wife throws them in her purse, and for all I know, they probably never get eaten.

This isn't a health choice either. My kids love fruit and eat them every morning of their lives. They just don't want them when they go to McDonald's (and neither do I).

Again, this has the fingerprints of the parasitic class on it. There may not be a law forcing McDonald's to throw apples in the box, but the state is very crafty on how it applies pressure. I'm sure if you have enough time to dig, or speak to the right McDonald's executive, they'll tell you truth about why those apples are in there.

Bottom line: The State treats us like we're their property. But we are not. We are all different and very unique individuals with our own tastes and value scales.

If people want to eat what others call "unhealthy", then so be it.

Live and let live.

Everyone values health in their own way, ranging from the extremely health conscious to the people who don't care if they die tomorrow.

Having that spectrum is necessary.

Are we supposed to believe that we should all have the same health value scales? That we should all ingest the same types of foods like a bunch of robots? I'm sure if Bloomberg had the super powers to make it so, he'd say "Yes"!

Well tough luck...

When I'm in the mood for a Big Mac, I'm getting a Big Mac and I don't need the petty tyrants to try to talk me out of it with their number counts.

Finally, the go-to excuse that "healthcare costs are rising" is not valid. In a free society, there is no aggregate known as "healthcare costs" just as there is no aggregate called "plasma tv costs". The fact that government has twisted the healthcare industry into a gordian knot does not mean that they now have carte blanche to make us live how they think we should live.

Government needs to get out of healthcare. It needs to get out of McDonald's, and:



  1. Politically, I agree that any idiot should be free to eat at McDonalds. I also am in favor of MD assisted suicide, which is less painful, and much faster than a Big mac, yet with likely similar results.

    But if you decide to eat at McD is one thing. Someday it may be very clear that taking your children there is child abuse.

    And initially people are not dragged, kicking and screaming to a drug dealer either.

    Sure, make your political point, but why in hell would an intelligent person eat there?

    1. Don't be ridiculous. Taking your kids to McDonald's once in a while is no worse than buying them Little Debbie snacks on your trip to the grocery store. Many healthy people eat at McDonald's occasionally. Maybe we should consider it child abuse to not allow your kids to enjoy a delicious meal there once in a while.

  2. A Big Mac probably has less sugar than a apple too.

  3. Free market or not, eating at McDonald's will kill you in your butthole. If this guy wants to raise his kids on chicken flavored cancer paste, all power to him, I'll stick with real food myself.

    1. Everybody`s happy, then. Isn`t that great?

  4. I'm at jury duty right now. I'd much rather be at McDonald's.

  5. McDonald's is the very outgrowth of big agra and USDA manipulation of food markets. If the government would stop subsidizing corn McDonald's would wither away, at least in its' current iteration. So, every time you buy a Big Mac, enjoy, but realize you're helping to perpetuate a crooked system that skews food production prices in favor of the Coca-Colas, Pepsicos, and McDonalds of the world and puts small time growers of real food at a comparative disadvantage.

  6. Here-here! Hey Mayor Bloomburger, I'm drinking a 17oz soda. Come and get me!

  7. And why in hell would you care?

  8. I love Mcdonalds. The insane food Nazi propoganda has certainly made its mark, even in the comment section of this article.

    The people who eat what ever pay the price of thier actions. I suggest the 'lovers of libety' stop touting the food Nazi talking points and jumping on the favorite scape goat. You are simply agreeing with them.

    Healthcare should be a price feely paid

  9. Everyone should be free to eat wherever they want and everyone should be free to sell whatever food they want. With that said, I have not been to McDonalds in about 15 year. I find the food there absolutely disgusting. If you want a good burger, there are many better options available, including grass-finished beef. Also, Chris, have you considered that some of the things you complain about are simply the results of demand? I, for example, am more likely to eat somewhere if I see the calorie count for the menu items. Perhaps enough people feel this way to prompt MCD's to put calorie counts on the menu.

  10. Wait, you mean New Jersey hookers don't hug?

    1. Chris Christie will hug if you bring a cheeseburger.

  11. I agree, but I especially enjoyed your militancy against apples at the McDonald's.

  12. I don't like this picture. I think Bloomberg should have his shlong out pissing all over New York with tiny New Yorkers out in the streets just sucking up all that pre-processed water while they toss out their sodas.

  13. I eat at McDonald's from time to time and enjoy the availability of calorie information, am free to choose grilled chicken instead of ground beef, and sometimes eat fruit, the salads, and yes, the apples.

    That's as much my choice as your eating a Big Mac and fries (which I will also admit to--though rarely the fires any more).

    Now it's true that you can pork out eating absurd, big agra food there, but they also make it possible to eat reasonably healthy food if you have the discipline. After the one reporter put on however many pounds and trashed his cholesterol and blood pressure for his Super Size Me stunt another reporter ate her choice of healthier options for a month and lost ten pounds.

    Guess which story you hear about?

    I love you guys and I can jump the gun as much as anyone, but jeez, know when to give it a freakin' rest.

  14. Great post, Chris. Love the title, and VIVA VOLUNTARYISM!

  15. McDonald's messed up selling Apples. We had the small bag open the whole time the kids were in the play area, and the apple pieces never started to brown... They stayed completely white. I looked at the ingredients, and apparently apple wasn't the only one. No thanks, that is gross!