Friday, April 18, 2014

Putting a Libertarian Spin on A Slow News Day

By Chris Rossini

Did you ever wonder what goes through a libertarian's mind while sifting through the mainstream news? Since today's a slow day, you're about to find out what goes through my head.

Pictures speak a thousand words, so we'll go through a few.

Ok...Picture 1:

You know, they're two feet away from each other. They should drop the sad faces and have at it already. Knock yourselves out. Fight dirty...pull hair, groin stuff...whatever.

But no!

Instead, they must shake hands and return to their respective palaces. They can then proceed to send legions of highly impressionable kids out with guns to mow each other down. People who can care less about any of it have to be robbed to pay for it, and any innocent person who happens to be in the vicinity also faces getting caught up in the carnage.

They're two feet away!

Save thousands of lives and duke it out yourselves.

Leave the rest of us alone!

Next....Picture 2:

Well, based on the smile, it looks like everything is ok with the big pipes. Thank goodness the former community organizer and constitutional lawyer stopped by for an inspection.

Apparently, central planning worshippers are waiting to find out if Caesar will (or will not) approve the Keystone Pipeline.

Picture 3 is of Benito Mussolini's granddaughter.

Apparently she's running for office in Italy. I'm not sure if she's into Fascism or not, but if she is, there's always room for her to run in the U.S.

She can take her pick as to which team to play for. There's Fascist Team Blue, or Fascist Team Red. Very little difference between the two. They use the same entrance exam.

So there you have it. Putting a libertarian spin on a slow news day.

Chris Rossini is on Twitter


  1. Ha Ha.
    Good post but.....the typical newsday in America isn't complete unless you have the LBGT community article begging the State to "do" or marry who they want.

  2. I'm sure Putin would be happy to settle it on the mat. Ukraine could pay off its debt in one go by hosting the match.

    This calls for a White House petition.

  3. So one of Mussolini's daughters is running for office and one is already in parliament? Uh.....yeah.