Wednesday, December 15, 2010

How to Dress Like a Bankster: The 44-Page UBS Dresscode

UBS tips (ViaBI):

"A flawless appearance can bring inner peace and a sense of security."

"The garment is a critical form of non-verbal communication."

"While blazers are equipped with pockets, they were not designed to contain a large number of personal effects or accessories. Leave these empty, so they do not deform."

"Only when it is very hot, and after confirmation of your supervisor, can you wear the shirt without a jacket."

"The jacket must completely cover your posterior."

"Sunglasses cannot be worn on top of the head."

"Piercings, besides earrings, and tattoos are prohibited. Tattoos, piercings or anklets are outdated and do not look professional."

"If you wear a watch, it suggests reliability and that punctuality is of great concern to you."

"After having worn a pair of shoes, allow your shoes at least one day, so let the leather dry out and rest."

"The tip of your tie should under no circumstances enter your pants."

"Do not wash, nor ever iron your shirts yourself."



  1. It's not a crime to take pride in your appearance. Who's going to take you seriously if you dress like a bum?

  2. This isn't "taking pride in your appearance," it's a dictatorial standard for banking corporation clones.

  3. Memo to Anonymous #1: Proudly displaying you illgotten gains may be kosher, but not to those usurous bastards that picked millions clean. You may also research usury and fractional reserve banking.

  4. Page 30 of the UBS SHOULD say, "Mustard stains on the left sleeve should be limited to Grey Poupon exclusively."

  5. Costumes. One and all ought to train ones mind to look past those visual cues, as it is a common practice in the underworld of confidence men and other sharp operators to impress a gullible mark with such attire.
    Now, if only the question as to why judges wear
    ecclesiastical garments I could rest easier at night.


  6. I wear a suit and tie to work ever day and I am not a bankster. I have a shitty little job on the basement level. And I agree that it is a costume. One that says I have a modicum of self respect. When I was a kid, everyone, even the unemployed, wore a suit. Of course, dirty tee-shirts and torn jeans is a costume, too. One that says "I really don't give a crap because I have no pride in myself". So if you want to dress like you just fell out of a dumpster behind the Goodwill, suit yourself.

  7. Ties are nooses, showing control, ownership and penalty for non-compliance. If you doubt this, study the Masonic influence with this article of clothing.

  8. How "Dianetic-ish".

    If it looks like a cult...

  9. Yes costumes. It certainly fools people. Take the reverse... There are panhandlers that dress to look like bums then go get in a luxury car and drive home. Dress just right and they make more money than someone with a real job. And anon said "Ties are nooses, showing control, ownership and penalty for non-compliance." If you notice most of the highest in the chain do not wear the tie, because they don't have to impress anyone, but they'll make you wear that tie...

  10. I wear a brown dickys workshirt most of the time, in the summer I button down to reveal a
    black or gray tank tee shirt. Long sleave, rolled up in summer.
    I like to wear mid calf cargo shorts in the summer, in the earth tones and light faded blue
    jeans (also cargo shorts). Carpenter blues in fall and winter.
    In other words, I dress like a low level serf.
    Call me Harry Tuttle
    Now go read the book at this link:
    The illustrations in that book are astounding.
    If you can read, the words may move you as well.
    That book alleges to have been published in 1912.